Abbie Hoffman's stars and stripes

Something is rotten and it's not in Denmark

Until the insanity with Greenland of late, I knew nothing¹ of Danish–American relations.²

I knew British-American relations were close enough to merit cute shorthand: in the biz, they call it The Special Relationship.

I would’ve told you that Britain, for sure, was our closest European ally.

Guess what!! It was Denmark!!! PAST TENSE.

Since 9/11, Denmark has adhered to so-called Super-Atlanticism³, which makes alignment with the U.S. its foreign-policy priority.⁴ The country sent thousands of troops to serve in both Afghanistan and Iraq. Fifty-two Danish soldiers died in those operations—significant losses in a country with a population of only six million.⁵

Super-Atlanticism! On purpose!! FOR YEARS.

Among NATO allies, Denmark maintained the highest level of popular support for the mission in Afghanistan, even though it sustained the highest number of fatalities per capita.⁶

Denmark loved us. They loved us and we threw it away.

Danes have been particularly stunned by Mr. Trump’s taunts that Denmark relies on “two dog sleds” to defend Greenland.

“It’s like fifth graders bullying the small guy in the corner,” said Company Sgt. Maj. Bager, the Danish soldier who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Danes in his unit died during his 2009 deployment to Helmand Province in Afghanistan, he said, and the rhetoric from the White House hurts.

“First time you get disappointed, then you get angry, and then you start feeling sad, you know?” he said. “I can’t remember when we haven’t been with you. You asked us to go. We went.” You asked us “to send airplanes, we sent airplanes.” Denmark, he said, “never said no.”⁷

By the time I got to the part of the article where the Danish veteran of both Iraq and Afghanistan says, “I can’t remember when we haven’t been with you. We never said no,” I almost started crying.

And I’m not known, particularly, for my support of the troops.

As I now find myself detained, AGAIN, by a person from Porlock, I must leave you simply with the text of my colleague’s mug:

DICK CHENEY DIED ON THE DAY THAT ZOHRAN MAMDANI WAS ELECTED MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, NOVEMBER 4, 2025

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1. Don’t it always seem to go? Don’t know what you got til it’s gone?? JONI.

2. Though it is enjoying a trajectory of greater self-governance, Greenland remains a territory of Denmark.

3. And here I thought “Super-Atlanticism” was just Death Cab for Cutie’s long-delayed deluxe version of their classic album.

4. “Rasmus Grand Berthelsen, a prominent political consultant in Copenhagen, told me that ‘Denmark has probably been the most American-friendly country in the E.U.’” (New Yorker)

5. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/01/19/denmark-is-sick-of-being-bullied-by-trump

6. Ibid (it’s Latin for “I’m sophisticated”)

7. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/18/world/europe/denmark-greenland-trump.html