I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
Anti-Hero part I
I had the nicest train conductor this morning.
“T.G.I.F. folks, T.G.I.F. For those of you who might not know what that means: Thank God it’s Friday. Yah-huh.”
Accustomed to admonishment in our train announcements—“Stand clear of the closing doors”—such levity augurs only goodness.
But first, I’ve an itch to kvetch.
Seeing me approach, lips parted, a beleaguered acquaintance once said: “What the fuck is ailing you now?”
The popular singer-songwriter has a new album out today. As the name of the album is Tortured Poets Department, the paper of record dutifully called poets for comment.
My hackles were raised not by the album title—which I support—nor by the bemused reactions from the article’s quoted poets. My problem is this guy:
“Poets today take mental health very seriously,” Mr. Pardlo said, “and I find it a little troublesome that this poem seems to be romanticizing what are often diagnosed as anxiety disorders.”
Poets today take mental health seriously.
Is this the case?
I dislike the quote in part because it is hugely soft, but I am open to the possibility that I’m being unreasonable. Maybe I need to T.M.H.S. (Take Mental Health Seriously.)1
Let’s test the claim against other vocations.
Investment bankers today take mental health seriously.
Hm.
Baristas today take mental health seriously?
Okay.
CIA agents take mental health seriously.
Yahtzee.
A real-life CIA press release from November 2022:
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) Director William J. Burns welcomed Dr. Jennifer Posa during a swearing-in ceremony last month to serve as CIA’s first-ever Chief Wellbeing Officer.
Dr. Jennifer Posa’s LinkedIn is a gas. When she was hired by the CIA, she posted the following (hashtags original):
I look forward to continued collaboration with longtime colleagues and new partners to ensure the advancement of the field of workplace health & wellbeing through evidence-based practice to drive innovation. #healthandwellness #employeewellbeing #organizationalwellbeing
Collaboration ensures advancement through practice that drives innovation. Good. Good!
A more recent post promotes the benefits of the CIA’s workplace “pedometer challenge.” The headline is remarkable:
As the good doctor says:
At CIA, our mission drives purposeful work each day and supporting a culture where high performers can be energized, inspired, and supported is a top priority.
Their mission drives purposeful work each day. Supportively supporting a culture of supporting regime change of socialist governments.
The New Yorker spoke to Dr. Posa last year:
“There’s an undercurrent of caring in the halls here,” she said.
An undercurrent of caring; a dash of mutual suspicion; top notes of moral injury.
“We’re here to protect and serve the country—but also each other. Wellness is safeguarding.”
The real 9/11 is the friends we made along the way.
“What enables performance in wellness and in life? It’s a competency, like a muscle.”
She’s the Jason Bourne of mixing metaphors. But we agree on one thing:
Cell phones and electronic devices are not allowed inside the Langley compound. “I was nervous about that,” Posa said. “But from a performance perspective there are a lot of benefits—nobody’s distracted, nobody’s looking at their phone under the table.” The ban, she continued, “can help us connect in ways that allow us to be truly present.”
Truly present with my coworkers at the bookstore today, Taylor Swift was on everyone’s lips.
“Did you hear? It’s a secret double album.”
Just as this is a secret two-part post. I missed you guys. Literally, hi.
It’s been said that you can take any New Yorker cartoon—typically depicting incongruity—and replace the caption with: “Christ, what an asshole.”
I’d offer “Taking mental health seriously?” as a new all-purpose caption option.
And let’s not neglect asking: What would Henny Youngman say? Take mental health—seriously!
Obsessed with the undercurrent of caring in the CIA halls
“The real 9/11 is the friends we made along the way.”